The Dream of December 7, 2023 by iamthejam, literature
Literature
The Dream of December 7, 2023
Heh, these are getting further and further apart... This time, I was back in an old office I used to work in until the mid-90's, and there I met a friend I hadn't seen in 20 years. She was going to work there, and she showed me around the office, which had been renewed MUCH better lighting than it had when I had worked there. And apparently I was going to work there again, too, because she handed me a booklet and what was supposed to be my name badge. (By now I was getting a bit apprehensive because I haven't worked in ANY office in nearly 20 years.) Upon inspection, the "badge" was some sort of computer ID, but it had my RL name all wrong; I think it was spelled "Garrumph" or something similar (no resemblance to my RL name). At that point, I transformed into The Disgruntled Worker From Hell, because I began complaining--LOUDLY--to all the other workers, of what was being done wrong: "What? What IS this? Is this supposed to be my name? Is this a code? Is this supposed to be
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - THE FOLLOWING MORNING... by iamthejam, literature
Literature
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - THE FOLLOWING MORNING...
THE FOLLOWING MORNING… It took some time, but it wasn’t long before, one by one, they found the Reason. The various Reasons: …to polish the Rocks… Wiggle couldn’t sleep, despite her exhaustion. Even though she hadn’t experienced the horrors first paw of tonight’s NIGHTMARE, she was terrified enough so as to induce insomnia. And feel useless. More than useless, even. She had stopped crying a while ago, now that her lachrymal glands had exhausted themselves, and she, too, had matted facial fur due to all the frustrated paw-rubbing that came with her weeping. There was nothing she could have done, and what was worse, there was nothing she could do right now to help, either— The teenager’s ears perked when she heard odd noises coming from a nearby bedroom. Shoving down her feelings of worthlessness and fright, she got up, smoothed down her nightshirt, and left her room, padding toward the source of the odd noise— She almost
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - LATER THAT NIGHT... by iamthejam, literature
Literature
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - LATER THAT NIGHT...
[…UNWARP!!!] Good evening. A few months ago, a friend of mine binge-watched the whole run of The Biskitts (Hanna-Barbera, 1983), all twenty-six ten-minute episodes, and I went along for the ride. One of the episodes that stood out was “A Biskitt Halloween” (https://youtu.be/dPwiTtjhaZg?feature=shared&t=681) which first aired on October 29, 1983. We talked about its blatant anachronisms, namely, that if the episode had really taken place in Medieval England, as it appears to be (in the year 1280 by my calculations and educated guesses), “Halloween” would have been called “Samhain”, there shouldn’t have been any pumpkins (New World food), onions would have been used instead of pumpkins, and the kerosene lamp, the yipping mechanical clock, and several of the masks were also a few centuries out of date. Anachronisms aside, we also talked about what could have happened in the aftermath of ABH; after all, they had just encountered and fought and defeated a life-threatening
[…unWARP!!!] Good evening. After finishing “Lost Boy”, I was thinking on whether Gerald or Phoebe would contact Helga or not, or whether she would bother going to Florida, and thus this one-shot crystallised from the depths of my creativity. Well, that, and it was also partially inspired by a real-life dream, if you could call it that. Here, Helga receives one last message from Arnold, in quite an unorthodox method, too. Francesca Marie Smith wishes TO SAY GOOD-BYE AGAIN with Anndi McAfee Written by The J.A.M. Edited by Call Me Nettie and HumanDictionary. Why am I wearing this old thing again? Helga found herself wearing her very old pink jumper with the white undershirt, and the white shoes as well. There were no mirrors in this strange house, but if there had been one, she was sure she would see her originally blonde hair tied up in those childish pigtails and adorned by the ever-enduring pink bow. This she confirmed by feeling her hair, and
The Dream of April 2, 2023 by iamthejam, literature
Literature
The Dream of April 2, 2023
No, this is not an April Fool's joke. So basically I was in some sort of spy/action movie, I'm not sure who I was, but I was with someone else, a woman, I think, in a warehouse, and we were looking for...something. She then told me to shoot at an ice-covered crate, and I did, and after I did I just followed the path of the bullet, revealing that the ice and the crate and all the other crates behind it were empty. This continued for a few minutes, shooting several random crates, and by then I think the woman and I were operatives of the Kids Next Door, because she had a scanning device that supposedly told her where I had to shoot. The last crate I shot was apparently the jackpot, because after I shot the ice that covered it, we could see inside of it, and inside was none other than: Ecto-1, the Ghostbuster's transport. "Yes!!!" she yelled. "He knew we would go back for this, and he made sure we found it and made sure we would be able to access it with our reward points!!!" Not sure
[…unWARP!!!] Good evening. As I was posting “Awake”, a few of you asked me if there were going to be scenes of what was happening with “Bizarro-Helga” back in Helga’s original universe, and how she was interacting with the original gang. I replied that “Awake” was Helga’s story, not Bizarro-Helga’s story, and going back and forth between universes would needlessly prolong the story, and as you will see in a moment, Bizarro-Helga’s interaction with Phoebe wasn’t exactly indispensable for reversing the switch. Still, to appease you, here is a scene with Bizarro-Helga, as you requested. It’s a bit surreal and meta, mind you, but it should still be enjoyable. “Never trust mirrors 100%. Remember that they only show you a reversed image of yourself.” – The J.A.M. Francesca Marie Smith Speaks FROM SELF TO SELF Written by The J.A.M. Edited by Call Me Nettie and HumanDictionary The first thing Helga knew was that she was in a big black nothing. Nothing in front of her.
LOST BOY - IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THAT MISSING PER by iamthejam, literature
Literature
LOST BOY - IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THAT MISSING PER
Right eye blink. Left eye blink. Only this time behind round bifocals. Sniff. “Arnie.” “Gerald, good to see you again.” There was a handshake, but not the secret one that was last given many years earlier, on the night just before Gertie’s first stroke. “This is my grandson, Jamie Z.” Right eye blink, left eye blink. “Pleased to meet you, young man—sniff.” “Hello, sir.” “How’s Lila?” Right eye blink, left eye blink. “Recovering. It’s not her time yet—sniff—and she always bounces back. Sorry to hear about your brother,” replied Arnold’s cousin, as stoic as ever. Gerald waved him off. “Don’t fret about that. He died surrounded by his family an’ friends. We all knew that his time was up, but still, Timberly took it the hardest.” “Really. Sniff—how is she doing now?” Right eye blink, left eye blink. “Better. She sulked for a while, but a Mother’s Day card from one of her granddaughters finally snapped her out of
“Los tres…” Pant, sigh. “…los tres están adentro…” A dirty and sweaty Jorge emerged from the hatch again, and panted, crestfallen, those tragic four words. Those who spoke Spanish knew exactly what he had just said, and gasped in shock and sadness. Those who didn’t speak Spanish reacted with dread at the other’s reactions, fearing the worst. And Arnold didn’t need any translation to understand what Jorge had just said. It didn’t help that Ingrid hugged her daughter Hortensia and both began weeping unconsolably. It also didn’t help that one of the men who stood nearby pulled out a small black collar with a white buckle and fastened it around his neck, and then pulled out a black sash and draped it over his shoulders. And it also didn’t help that another of the men reached down to his backpack and pulled out three body bags. Esther touched her nephew’s shoulder. “Arnold—” “Yes, Aunt Esther, I figured out what he said. ‘The three
The Dream of December 7, 2023 by iamthejam, literature
Literature
The Dream of December 7, 2023
Heh, these are getting further and further apart... This time, I was back in an old office I used to work in until the mid-90's, and there I met a friend I hadn't seen in 20 years. She was going to work there, and she showed me around the office, which had been renewed MUCH better lighting than it had when I had worked there. And apparently I was going to work there again, too, because she handed me a booklet and what was supposed to be my name badge. (By now I was getting a bit apprehensive because I haven't worked in ANY office in nearly 20 years.) Upon inspection, the "badge" was some sort of computer ID, but it had my RL name all wrong; I think it was spelled "Garrumph" or something similar (no resemblance to my RL name). At that point, I transformed into The Disgruntled Worker From Hell, because I began complaining--LOUDLY--to all the other workers, of what was being done wrong: "What? What IS this? Is this supposed to be my name? Is this a code? Is this supposed to be
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - THE FOLLOWING MORNING... by iamthejam, literature
Literature
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - THE FOLLOWING MORNING...
THE FOLLOWING MORNING… It took some time, but it wasn’t long before, one by one, they found the Reason. The various Reasons: …to polish the Rocks… Wiggle couldn’t sleep, despite her exhaustion. Even though she hadn’t experienced the horrors first paw of tonight’s NIGHTMARE, she was terrified enough so as to induce insomnia. And feel useless. More than useless, even. She had stopped crying a while ago, now that her lachrymal glands had exhausted themselves, and she, too, had matted facial fur due to all the frustrated paw-rubbing that came with her weeping. There was nothing she could have done, and what was worse, there was nothing she could do right now to help, either— The teenager’s ears perked when she heard odd noises coming from a nearby bedroom. Shoving down her feelings of worthlessness and fright, she got up, smoothed down her nightshirt, and left her room, padding toward the source of the odd noise— She almost
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - LATER THAT NIGHT... by iamthejam, literature
Literature
A BISKITT NOVEMBER 1ST - LATER THAT NIGHT...
[…UNWARP!!!] Good evening. A few months ago, a friend of mine binge-watched the whole run of The Biskitts (Hanna-Barbera, 1983), all twenty-six ten-minute episodes, and I went along for the ride. One of the episodes that stood out was “A Biskitt Halloween” (https://youtu.be/dPwiTtjhaZg?feature=shared&t=681) which first aired on October 29, 1983. We talked about its blatant anachronisms, namely, that if the episode had really taken place in Medieval England, as it appears to be (in the year 1280 by my calculations and educated guesses), “Halloween” would have been called “Samhain”, there shouldn’t have been any pumpkins (New World food), onions would have been used instead of pumpkins, and the kerosene lamp, the yipping mechanical clock, and several of the masks were also a few centuries out of date. Anachronisms aside, we also talked about what could have happened in the aftermath of ABH; after all, they had just encountered and fought and defeated a life-threatening
[…unWARP!!!] Good evening. After finishing “Lost Boy”, I was thinking on whether Gerald or Phoebe would contact Helga or not, or whether she would bother going to Florida, and thus this one-shot crystallised from the depths of my creativity. Well, that, and it was also partially inspired by a real-life dream, if you could call it that. Here, Helga receives one last message from Arnold, in quite an unorthodox method, too. Francesca Marie Smith wishes TO SAY GOOD-BYE AGAIN with Anndi McAfee Written by The J.A.M. Edited by Call Me Nettie and HumanDictionary. Why am I wearing this old thing again? Helga found herself wearing her very old pink jumper with the white undershirt, and the white shoes as well. There were no mirrors in this strange house, but if there had been one, she was sure she would see her originally blonde hair tied up in those childish pigtails and adorned by the ever-enduring pink bow. This she confirmed by feeling her hair, and
The Dream of April 2, 2023 by iamthejam, literature
Literature
The Dream of April 2, 2023
No, this is not an April Fool's joke. So basically I was in some sort of spy/action movie, I'm not sure who I was, but I was with someone else, a woman, I think, in a warehouse, and we were looking for...something. She then told me to shoot at an ice-covered crate, and I did, and after I did I just followed the path of the bullet, revealing that the ice and the crate and all the other crates behind it were empty. This continued for a few minutes, shooting several random crates, and by then I think the woman and I were operatives of the Kids Next Door, because she had a scanning device that supposedly told her where I had to shoot. The last crate I shot was apparently the jackpot, because after I shot the ice that covered it, we could see inside of it, and inside was none other than: Ecto-1, the Ghostbuster's transport. "Yes!!!" she yelled. "He knew we would go back for this, and he made sure we found it and made sure we would be able to access it with our reward points!!!" Not sure
[…unWARP!!!] Good evening. As I was posting “Awake”, a few of you asked me if there were going to be scenes of what was happening with “Bizarro-Helga” back in Helga’s original universe, and how she was interacting with the original gang. I replied that “Awake” was Helga’s story, not Bizarro-Helga’s story, and going back and forth between universes would needlessly prolong the story, and as you will see in a moment, Bizarro-Helga’s interaction with Phoebe wasn’t exactly indispensable for reversing the switch. Still, to appease you, here is a scene with Bizarro-Helga, as you requested. It’s a bit surreal and meta, mind you, but it should still be enjoyable. “Never trust mirrors 100%. Remember that they only show you a reversed image of yourself.” – The J.A.M. Francesca Marie Smith Speaks FROM SELF TO SELF Written by The J.A.M. Edited by Call Me Nettie and HumanDictionary The first thing Helga knew was that she was in a big black nothing. Nothing in front of her.
LOST BOY - IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THAT MISSING PER by iamthejam, literature
Literature
LOST BOY - IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THAT MISSING PER
Right eye blink. Left eye blink. Only this time behind round bifocals. Sniff. “Arnie.” “Gerald, good to see you again.” There was a handshake, but not the secret one that was last given many years earlier, on the night just before Gertie’s first stroke. “This is my grandson, Jamie Z.” Right eye blink, left eye blink. “Pleased to meet you, young man—sniff.” “Hello, sir.” “How’s Lila?” Right eye blink, left eye blink. “Recovering. It’s not her time yet—sniff—and she always bounces back. Sorry to hear about your brother,” replied Arnold’s cousin, as stoic as ever. Gerald waved him off. “Don’t fret about that. He died surrounded by his family an’ friends. We all knew that his time was up, but still, Timberly took it the hardest.” “Really. Sniff—how is she doing now?” Right eye blink, left eye blink. “Better. She sulked for a while, but a Mother’s Day card from one of her granddaughters finally snapped her out of
Today at the grocery store, at the cash register, I was asked, for the first time, if I had the card for the senior's discount. Before, I was "officially old" because people let me get on the bus first. Before that, I was "officially old" when I got my first pair of bifocals. :P :P :P